阿婆the GM - paper vulture ;

return me to where i belong

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"i know i absolutely hate the situation i'm in now,
but im still happy with how i'm dealing with it
i guess i just dont really know what i want"

being happy dealing with it isn't being happy with it.
i want an outcome, and will i have it?
and will i be happy with it?

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it just means u're screwed.
i'm the only one holding your back through this all
and if you start to piss me off
you'll lose the only support that you have in this place
you'll lose the only thing that you can love and get loved back
you'll lose me
and you don't want that to happen

because once you lose me
you probably don't have a reason to come home anymore.

i don't know how i managed to do it so fast
but i did anyway.
and you're right, it wasn't easy.

but it's easier than eating my way out.

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i wish i had my current study attitude in sem 1.
now i'm really worried.

i don't like to say the things that i say all the time
but i just can't believe my stupid decisions.

and perhaps, for the first time in my life,
i found myself, and i'm not very happy. :(
& it's terrible that i know where i went wrong,
reflected,
and am still absolutely sure that i'll still screw up the next time.

can't stand low quality exports

i am tired
but not quite burnt out just yet.

i'm almost there.
i'm almost there.

just hang on for a little while more.
HANG IN THERE WOOHOO

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why now?
should've gone another way a few years back.

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i can show you the world, shining; shimmering; splendid.

alright. show it to me then.
and get me a fricking real magic carpet with it

i'm not anywhere.
and i don't know where you are either
being smack in the middle is fun!

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i know it's bad
when i prefer doing my least favourite subcomm activity
over studying.

change change change!
hocus pocus.

who said tea was caffeinated?
what rubbish.

i know i set my own deadline,
just give me 4 more hours.

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start off on the right foot.
plsss.

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happy birthday mum!
we are one big funny family. :D
at least the 3 of us, or 4.
though brandon chai uber tired tonight.

yay i passed my btt!
taking ftt in april and pdl with me now
i feel closer to my license now!

not the one im taking now though lmao.

shhh.

well. 8am lessons tmr.
better get started on my room and my notes now
so i can sleep early!
shit lah i wanna watch oc.

3 hours later: have been on facebook all this while.
shit

i think i screwed up again.

i don't know how i keep making you unhappy.
tmr's your birthday so lets just leave it at there.

tmr's his birthday too,
just wondering how you're holding up with the loss.
i can see you've got someone with you
so i'm glad for you! :)

my life is great, but fucked.
so that makes it half-fucked
which isn't very nice at all.

cos you aren't enjoying,
but aren't entitled to lament either.

screw it.

i hate working with non-professionals who think they are.

i'm moving out.
bye bye KE.
so you can't find me here.
i'll be gone by monday.

it's weird waking up every morning, going to sleep every night
knowing i'm going to live my life differently now.
& i can't remember if i apologized. should i have?
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im torn! should i move out?
i still can, but i gotta decide by friday
and move out by monday

with tentatively 2 8am days and 2 free days next week
it don't seem like such a bad idea

it's just about killing myself for the next 3 weeks.

stop trying to read me.

can't seem to get nothing done.

today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
by now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do
i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now

back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
im sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt
i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now

and all the roads we have to walk are winding
and all the lights that lead us there are blinding
there are many things that i would like to say to you
but i don't know how

because maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me
and after all
you're my wonderwall

today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you
by now you shoulda somehow realized what you're not to do
i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now

and all the roads that lead you there are winding
and all the lights that light the way are blinding
there are many things that i would like to say to you
but i don't know how

i said maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me
and after all
you're my wonderwall

i said maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me
and after all
you're my wonderwall

i said maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me

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broke up. too sudden? i think so too. :(
liberation is the wrong thing to feel
but i'm feeling it anyway.

finally well
with less than 10 days of vacation to go.
what a big waste of time.

i can't believe it's 2008.

work just can't stop piling up.