阿婆the GM - paper vulture ;

cos the only smile i can give now is forced.

unresolved. how can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye
heh. don't you have the slightest feelings left for me

sentosa tmr!!maybe that's just your way
and registration.of dealing with the pain
like damn early in the morning.forgetting everything between our rise and fall
and i shouldn't be awake now.like we never loved at all.

i'm afraid of the truth ):
if the truth is bad.

i must be mad

but i finally found the time to go out!

here i go
out to make myself happy.
out to make things right.

shopping shopping HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

told ya i'm mad

god i didn't realise it's been so long.

no not two weeks like i thought it was

seems like i'm losing track of time
and reading my blog archives is the only way to keep to it.

tsk, lose more memory pls.

i'm home and i'm glad.

i'm way too tired.
the past 48 hours have spun me around

and like a whirlwind,
i'm lost in myself.

somehow seeming to understand isn't enough.

taking the right turn.

(:

goodbye to you
goodbye to everything i thought i knew
you were the one i loved
the one thing that i tried to hold on to

i don't like it when you say things like that (what i don't matter anymore)
cos i don't know if you mean them or not. (what does possible mean?)

i can't read you at all.

sometimes things go just the way as expected
and moments later things change
drastically
your attitude and everything.
but that's predicted too.

the only thing predictable about you is change.
the only thing readable about you is volatility.

how's that when i'm looking for entirely different things?

-------------

i can't imagine how you're getting on now.
i could never cope with something like that.

i wish i knew what's going through your mind.

here i go again.
5 more days!

celebrate or not?

and i wanna go on a holiday

as in overseas vacation relac holiday.
not holiday stay at home and sleep.

again it's the same case of bad timing
don't call again, i don't care anymore
and this might actually be the first time i'm not moaning about bad timing.
i'm growing up!

and then again, maybe not.
i still wish for certain things to happen
like a kid you know,
the things i wish for.
i guess the kid in me will always be here.
and i'm hoping there's something about me
in that kid in you.

i'm starting to feel tired.
and really afraid of falling sick.

and i need to pack my room
like NEED to.

it's been a mess since stayover.
that was sunday morning
it's tuesday later.
and that's long considering how neat it was before that.

OKAY a little neater
but i aim to make things (y)!
omg damn long never use that emoticon

8 hours of sleep?
is that enough?

should i just be content with 8 hours of sleep
or should i sleep till the usual hours (12-1pm)
even though i sleep early (12-2am) as compared to usually (6-7am)?

i've got lots of things to do
and it's up to no one but me to get them done.

i'm not looking forward to work at all
but,

i think i'm the only one who hasn't blogged about stayover yet.

haha.

i'm SO TIRED!
but it was all great great fun.

it should've been earlier.

non-birthday cake
blood, mushroom, not funny, potato, butterfly flower minah idiot.
what rubbish we were blabbering.
ljs breakfast
scrabble and monopoly.
uno
and donald duck ;)

all disney!!

and shhhhhhhhhhh. ;)

--------------------

escape was fun too hahahahha.
though it was a pity that the viking, rainbow and inverter were closed,
it's alright cos we got complimentary tickets!
haha next time wear waterproof mascara k ;)

---------------------

intended to go out and do some shopping and cut my hair ytd
but ended up having a shitload of cramps
so today i'm gonna make it up to myself!!

----------------------

it's my last off day.
i don't feel that regenerated as i thought i'd be.
maybe shopping will change that :)

some school stuff are falling into place.
found some useful links and managed to get my status confirmed.
it's so messy, everything.

and i have to print so many things!!!

yawns.
i don't really feel like going back to work tmr. ):
well i've only got 5 days to pull myself through.

i guess it'll be easy for me to transit to jobless status. ;)

p.s, FK, still ambiguous?

tireddddd,

it's unbelievable.

almost ten years.

i don't understand what i'm feeling right now.
i'm getting so obsessed with all these little things.

ohwell let's just forget it
i'm off 4 days from today.
there's not much chance of anything happening

so i might as well rest well and enjoy myself.
:)

STAYOVER LATER!

can't wait can't wait.

hope you enjoyed yourself cla! :)

work's taking up too much of my mind, time and energy.
it's weird now
but i'm really looking forward to my last day now.
i've spent enough time and effort on making things work
and i'm dead tired.

stayoverrrrrr!!!!!

happy birthday cla!! :)

and yes, stayover is confirmed!

i'm so sorry.
i don't know what i'm apologizing for
but i'm so sorry i wasn't there.
i'm so sorry i was never there.
even though you may not have wanted me to.

and i have no idea what to do now.

i could've been there,
i could've been.
i shouldn't have been afraid

it's hit a new low.

and you've hit a new high.

i have an IPOD

and i am hopping hopping fucking HAPPY!! :D

it gives me excuse to not think about things that don't make me happy.
(:

i didn't hear what you were saying
i live on raw emotion baby
i answer questions never maybe
and i'm not kind if you betray me
so who the hell are you to save me
i never would have made it babe

if you needed love
well then ask for love
could have given love
now i'm taking love
and it's not my fault
cos you both deserve
what's coming now
so don't say a word

wake up call
caught you in the morning
with another one in my bed
don't you care about me anymore
don't you care about me?
i don't think so

six foot tall
came without a warning
so i had to shoot him dead
he won't come around here anymore
come around here?
i don't think so

would have bled to make you happy
you didn't need to treat me that way
and now you beat me at my own game
and now i'm finally sleeping soundly
and your lover's screaming loudly
i hear a sound and hit the ground

if you needed love
well then ask for love
could have given love
now i'm taking love
and it's not my fault
cos you both deserve
what's coming now
so don't say a word

wake up call
caught you in the morning
with another one in my bed
don't you care about me anymore
don't you care about me?
i don't think so

six foot tall
came without a warning
so i had to shoot him dead
he won't come around here anymore
come around here?
i don't feel so bad
i don't feel so bad
i don't feel so bad

i'm so sorry darling
did i do the wrong thing
oh, what was i thinking
is his heart still beating

wake up call
caught you in the morning
with another one in my bed
don't you care about me anymore
don't you care about me?
i don't think so

six foot tall
came without a warning
so i had to shoot him dead
he won't come around here anymore
come around here?
i don't feel so bad

being happy is the best feeling ever
now i know what people mean when they say
you live to be happy.

cos you don't really live to be anything else do you? (:

LOL
this is ridiculous.

VERY.

just a restart and there's 5?

all these people make me laugh
and make me wonder who i really am.

big kid, young adult.

who exactly are you?

it's amazing how near we are but this far apart.
and i'm serious this time
i'm drawing the line,
whether you want it or not.

this is getting wayyyy out of hand.

don't blame me

happy belated birthday (: hope you enjoyed yourself.

this sucks.
it seriously does.

it does and i don't know what to say.
just DON'T invite me.
don't.

me being nice doesn't give you the prerogative to take advantage of it

i can be nice and accept every apology you give me every morning
but it doesn't mean you can piss me off everyday
i can be nice and listen to your rambles when you're pissed
but it doesn't mean you can take out your anger on me
i can be nice and help you in whatever way you want
but it doesn't mean that you can draw the line but i can't

if you don't want to do cocktails, mr. award-winning bartender,
don't be a bartender at all.

seems like influence, power and paperwork has clouded your head.
and it's sad to see how that happens.

sian i'm not off on saturdayyyyyy.

):

ohwell sunday is fine.
quiet-quiet.

seems like the rules have bent a little
it's the people who're too rigid now

it's that basic

anyway i'm bored on my off day onlining the whole day
and looking at pictures on my comp (YAWNS)
so i decided to google my chinese name.

i never knew that i was a 主播!



see, that's me, 蔡郁璇.



and that is my 姐姐 蔡郁洁.



and we are 双胞胎!

this is fun. i always wanted to have a twin.

原来 i have one!

it's depressing you know.

when people who don't deserve some things as much as you do
get everything they want and more
but you don't
and you just have to accidentally stumble upon what they said
and know exactly what they're talking about
and think about things you promised yourself

when people you knew for barely a year
and were hardly on good terms with
know you better than someone you lived with your whole life

when people you tried to avoid turn out to be your best friends.

and when people who are your best friends
turn out to be the type of people you tried to avoid before.

dude, you were right.
i should have listened to you more often.

some old friends i had
though even for a short while.

promised to keep in contact but never did

and i know i expect too much from people.

shit shit shit I HATE GST OMFG.
should've bought it before today man ARGH.
now it's totally more ex by 30 bucks.
THIRTY BUCKS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

sucks sucks sucks.

i hate 1st july!
and i love 1st july too la no more smoking
no more ashtrayssss plsssssss

yawns.
time to sleep.

SIAN LA I HATE GST ):