阿婆the GM - paper vulture ;

this is depressing omgggg.

but it does feel a lot better after tendering.

and you, big kid.
what is it you want from me?

like i said,
i'm losing track of myself!
and time, which is actually more important than me.

having to change from student to server to student in 9 months isn't great.
i had dreams of who i wanted to be
i started to see what goes on in the real adult life
i learnt a lot
seen my fair share of bastards
the really hard way

and i'm going to give it all up.

for something i spent my life fighting for.

it's weird isn't it
when you realise that something you want for 18 years
isn't actually what you want.

but nevertheless you need it anyway
maybe i'll enjoy my time more than now.

i love this week's schedule!

off 4 8 8 4 off 4
3 days of opening = OT
but 2 days of 4 after off days
and one day of 4 after two days of 8 = not tired!

(:

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seems that i'm not the only one displeased with you :)
i was warned, so i'm not surprised.

and YAY SATURDAY here i comeeeeeeeeee (:

Dear Santa,

i know it's too early but I dun have a very BIG request so i thought i could mail this in early you know like the early bird gets the worm kinda thing except that now i don't wanna stoopid worm. Could you please bring TiVo to singapore? Don't give me that shit about how Starhub has SmartTV. SmartTV can do nuts. It's useless. AND I WANT MY TiVo. You either give TiVo to me or bring me to the States, or im runnin away from home and I'll tell my mum IT'S SANTA'S FAULT!!!! (and if you bring me to the states i wanna stay with a reaaal handsome little kid in a reaaaal handsome little house :) thank you and i love you santa!! )

WAAAAAA ;'(

With Love,
From the UNDISCIPLINED kid in me.

p.s, it's from the kid in me, NOT ME.

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lunch, lunch, dinner.

what a day.

i'm so burnt out by just doing nothing.

sorry couldn't make it, kim and cla
lucky i didn't go though
cos i didn't feel well in the evening.

next sat okay? (:

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some people are just born to be weird i guess.

yay i start at 8
yay i'm off tmr and mon
yay i'm off on thurs
yay for cla
yay for being able to rotttt at home.

and yay for ice cream i'm gonna buy later.

p.s, yay for BT. (:

how does it feel like to have all of your life become a lie in an instant?
terrible.

nothing happened, just wondering since i'm not asleep.

don't ask me why i'm not.

AND OMFG I PICKED UP A BEETLE OFF MY KNEE OMFG
i am a beetle murderer.

EW.

something's wrong with my laptop.
damn.

shit shit shit why is this happening

i didn't do ANYTHING.

what happened to our reliance on each other?
we used to depend on each other so much
and not be afraid of showing it

i could list names if i wanted to
but i don't even know if those people still read my blog.
some i know still do
some i know never will.

there's nothing wrong with being reliant on another
i've walked out of that unscathed
still being able to be independent
i'm not wishing for anyone to come back
for me to rely on again
but maybe we could just chat again
like the old days

maybe i'm not initiative enough.

was reading through my old emails
emails dating back to 2002
played old songs
thought old thoughts

there's nothing wrong with the present
but neither is just wishing for a little bit of the past
to come back here.

in sec2,
we cried about departure because we were going to different classes
but our classrooms were on the same level anyway.

in sec4,
we cried about departure because we were going to different jcs
but we still could meet up anyway

in j2,
we cried about departure because we were all going different ways
maybe it's a little hard to track back the true reason
but timings clashed so much
and i know my timings were so different from yours
you got too bothered to ask me anyway.

i'm not blaming anyone or anything that has happened
like i said,
i just wish for a little yesterday in our today.

and i was just wondering
how would things be if i chose a different path that day?
that day when things could still take a different turn.

-----------------------

sometimes i can see the similarities between him and her
but how is that we treat her with utter respect
giving her enough face
but we treat him with utter contempt?
both have the same intentions,
same methods of execution,
same habits.

with only this much difference,
yet that much difference?

i'm not intentionally speaking in ambiguity
i just don't know how to spill things out
yet retain that level of sensitivity.

----------------------------

why do you behave as if it's wrong to demand what i think i'm worth?
do you actually believe that one should settle for less than expected?

i'm not playing hard to get.
i really need whatever you can give me.

----------------------------

and how come we both are in the same situation
yet my attitude towards it
is so different from your attitude towards it?

shouldn't you try to be lessening the burden
rather than adding on?

sometimes i really wanna know what you think about us
do you love us through and through but don't know how to express it
or do you really think that what you're doing is just love?

that talk with you made me open up my heart a little
maybe we have other options than what we're doing now.

-------------

i know you have intentions for being nice to me
i know you have things you want from me
but don't be nice to me anymore
because i'm not able to give you anything you need

-------------

work's a bitch
i keep finding out stuff that make me angry
i resent the way you're treating us
and for that, my decision will change.

now it's only time to decide on a date
and how to phrase my resentment.

these bastards.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/europe/6739101.stm

staying at home the whole day to nua is good.

i'm the same but different
and i know some of you don't know me anymore.

managers are full of shit.

yes i am.

and i'm not going to say anything about it
because i don't know what to.

(: