Saturday, May 31, 2008
teeheehee
i don't even remember the exact sequence of stuff
but i know i was happy.
please let this go on for the remaining 2 weeks that i have.
anyway who stole my sleeping bag?
did anyone borrow it or what?
but i know i was happy.
please let this go on for the remaining 2 weeks that i have.
anyway who stole my sleeping bag?
did anyone borrow it or what?
Friday, May 30, 2008
black white brown
wake up wake up!
toooo busy.
toooo busy.
you can't make everyone happy
so just make yourself happy k
but some people can do that for you
without even trying.
toooo busy.
toooo busy.
you can't make everyone happy
so just make yourself happy k
but some people can do that for you
without even trying.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
sphmr
it's like the planets have aligned
every sentence has a rhyme
-------------
lingkwang.
it was a wonderful experience to say the least.
lingkwang is not the beneficiary,
we are.
-------------
i'm not taking the july job
it's some data entry 6/hr at chinatown
lmk if you want, then i'll see if it's still available
tuition is so..weirdddd!
-_-
i can do this i can do this k.
why?
why'd you have to sing it right?
every sentence has a rhyme
-------------
lingkwang.
it was a wonderful experience to say the least.
lingkwang is not the beneficiary,
we are.
-------------
i'm not taking the july job
it's some data entry 6/hr at chinatown
lmk if you want, then i'll see if it's still available
tuition is so..weirdddd!
-_-
i can do this i can do this k.
why?
why'd you have to sing it right?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
hundred and eight
one step taken.
---------------
i hate sudden downpours of rain.
not when it doesn't result in anything nice.
some days my mind runs faster than those hamsters on the wheel
---------------
i hate sudden downpours of rain.
not when it doesn't result in anything nice.
some days my mind runs faster than those hamsters on the wheel
Monday, May 26, 2008
promise
wow.
i have a tuition kid?
SO FUNNY LAH.
would you take my hand
and never let me go
i have a tuition kid?
SO FUNNY LAH.
would you take my hand
and never let me go
Sunday, May 25, 2008
not what you imagined
star light, star bright,
the first star i see tonight,
i wish i may, i wish i might,
have the wish i wish tonight.
the first star i see tonight,
i wish i may, i wish i might,
have the wish i wish tonight.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
make that call
i don't dare.
just don't have the balls.
because you'll know it's me.
and i can't risk that.
----------------
i just need to rest. rest. rest.
i'm dying.
(not dieing ah.)
open house was great. loved meeting all MJ ppl on train back!
xoxo, girl in red.
just don't have the balls.
because you'll know it's me.
and i can't risk that.
----------------
i just need to rest. rest. rest.
i'm dying.
(not dieing ah.)
open house was great. loved meeting all MJ ppl on train back!
xoxo, girl in red.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
you can never go wrong..
with chocolate for breakfast
----------------
there's a time when everything should stop
and i just wonder if i'll be the one initiating it.
----------------
there's a time when everything should stop
and i just wonder if i'll be the one initiating it.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
maybe it was a bad idea
omg.
for that dream.
and what happened today
and what happened just now.
i want to sleep.
i want money.
i want..
for that dream.
and what happened today
and what happened just now.
i want to sleep.
i want money.
i want..
Monday, May 19, 2008
crazy in love
josh gracin - we weren't crazy
we headed out to California
everybody tried to warn us
said we wouldn't make it any further
than that worn out Chevy would
we broke down a time or two
thought "maybe we didn't think it through"
we were all we had to turn to
when it wasn't lookin' good
we're lookin' back laughin'
'cause they called us crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly - had to get away
took a chance on that feelin' - baby
we were lovin' blind - borderline reckless
we were livin' for the minute we were spinnin' in
maybe we were a lot of things
but we weren't crazy
just a couple kids a couple years ago
now we got a couple kids of our own
we turn out right - proved them wrong
look at us goin' strong
lookin' back laughin'
'cause they called us crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly - had to get away
took a chance on that feelin' - baby
we were lovin' blind - borderline reckless
we were livin' for the minute we were spinnin' in
maybe we were a lot of things
but we weren't crazy
coulda set it down
when things got tough
coulda walked away from this love
but that'd been crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly, had to get away
took a chance on that feeling
we were lovin blind, borderline reckless
we were livin for the minute we were spinning in
maybe we were a lot of things
oh maybe we were a lot of things
but we werent crazy
we weren't crazy
we weren't crazy
we headed out to California
everybody tried to warn us
said we wouldn't make it any further
than that worn out Chevy would
we broke down a time or two
thought "maybe we didn't think it through"
we were all we had to turn to
when it wasn't lookin' good
we're lookin' back laughin'
'cause they called us crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly - had to get away
took a chance on that feelin' - baby
we were lovin' blind - borderline reckless
we were livin' for the minute we were spinnin' in
maybe we were a lot of things
but we weren't crazy
just a couple kids a couple years ago
now we got a couple kids of our own
we turn out right - proved them wrong
look at us goin' strong
lookin' back laughin'
'cause they called us crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly - had to get away
took a chance on that feelin' - baby
we were lovin' blind - borderline reckless
we were livin' for the minute we were spinnin' in
maybe we were a lot of things
but we weren't crazy
coulda set it down
when things got tough
coulda walked away from this love
but that'd been crazy
we were young, we were wild, we were restless
had to go, had to fly, had to get away
took a chance on that feeling
we were lovin blind, borderline reckless
we were livin for the minute we were spinning in
maybe we were a lot of things
oh maybe we were a lot of things
but we werent crazy
we weren't crazy
we weren't crazy
------------
the thing is,
i never once stopped to bother.
and i mean stopped to bother, not stopped bothering.
stuff are slowly going back on track
some little screwups, some little bonuses
it all rounds down to what i have at the end of the day
and there's only one thing i want for that purpose.
and besides that, time too.
though we have not hit the ground
it doesn't mean we're not still falling
if i hit it, hard, already?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
back door
nickelback - photograph
look at this photograph
everytime i do, it makes me laugh
how did our eyes get so red
and what the hell is on Joey's head
and this where i grew up
i think the present owner fixed it up
i never knew we'd ever went without
the second floor is hard for sneaking out
and this where i went to school
most of the time had better things to do
criminal record says i broke in twice
i must have done it half a dozen times
i wonder if it's too late
should i go back and try to graduate
life's better now than it was back then
if i was them i wouldn't let me in
oh, oh, oh
oh, god, i
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
goodbye
remember the old arcade
blew every dollar that we made
the cops hated us hangin' out
they say somebody went and burned it down
we used to listen on the radio
and sing along with every song we know
we said someday we'd find out how it feels
to sing to more than just the steering wheel
kim's the first girl i kissed
i was so nervous that i nearly missed
she's had a couple of kids since then
i haven't seen her since god knows when
oh, oh, oh,
oh, god, i
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
i miss that town
i miss the faces
you can't erase
you can't replace it
i miss it now
i can't believe it
so hard to stay
too hard to leave it
if i could relieve those days
i know the one thing that would never change
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
look at this photograph
everytime i do, it makes me laugh
everytime i do, it makes me
look at this photograph
everytime i do, it makes me laugh
how did our eyes get so red
and what the hell is on Joey's head
and this where i grew up
i think the present owner fixed it up
i never knew we'd ever went without
the second floor is hard for sneaking out
and this where i went to school
most of the time had better things to do
criminal record says i broke in twice
i must have done it half a dozen times
i wonder if it's too late
should i go back and try to graduate
life's better now than it was back then
if i was them i wouldn't let me in
oh, oh, oh
oh, god, i
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
goodbye
remember the old arcade
blew every dollar that we made
the cops hated us hangin' out
they say somebody went and burned it down
we used to listen on the radio
and sing along with every song we know
we said someday we'd find out how it feels
to sing to more than just the steering wheel
kim's the first girl i kissed
i was so nervous that i nearly missed
she's had a couple of kids since then
i haven't seen her since god knows when
oh, oh, oh,
oh, god, i
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
i miss that town
i miss the faces
you can't erase
you can't replace it
i miss it now
i can't believe it
so hard to stay
too hard to leave it
if i could relieve those days
i know the one thing that would never change
every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it's hard to say it, time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
look at this photograph
everytime i do, it makes me laugh
everytime i do, it makes me
-------------------
if i had a little more time today,
what would you have said?
if it wasn't so busy,
what would you have said?
stop blinking your stupid eyes at me and trying to send some stupid message
get your teeth back soon idiot.
maybe i'll want to see you and your stupid scar again,
maybe not.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
number ten.
“When I talk about looking for someone perfect, it’s not about her having to ace every department. It’s about striking the perfect balance. Someone so perfect, she’s beautiful, but not pretty enough to be bitchy; she’s nice, but not a pushover at all; she’s smart, but not smart enough to play mind games with me; she loves me with her heart, without needing to have me with her all the time. My perfect lady is beautiful, loyal, nice, strong, smart, dumb, can’t live without me, can live without me.
She’s perfect, and even harder to find than someone who is more beautiful, nicer, smarter and loves me more than herself. My perfect lady. I’ve found her.”
- Anon.
by my side
i saw a car accident on the way back from work.
okay i didn't see the process but i saw the after-effects still in action.
the car was turned on its side
with people still inside
about 8 people were trying to help out, break the glass and get them out
i don't know how it ended up cos my driver didn't stop
but i know about 5-6 cars stopped to help out.
that's awfully civic-minded
and that's just what we need. (:
--------------
i need time.
and more time with people i need to spend time with.
(:
okay i didn't see the process but i saw the after-effects still in action.
the car was turned on its side
with people still inside
about 8 people were trying to help out, break the glass and get them out
i don't know how it ended up cos my driver didn't stop
but i know about 5-6 cars stopped to help out.
that's awfully civic-minded
and that's just what we need. (:
--------------
i need time.
and more time with people i need to spend time with.
(:
Monday, May 12, 2008
zzzzzzz
i don't wanna go out.
grr. stop doing that.
first thing tmr morning: DH.
and cathay at downtown stole seats from our LTs.
and the east is so happening.
hahahaha.
okay been there, done that.
it's time to stop.
and i'm talking about you, not me.
ouch. it's swelling up.
one more week.
i can't wait.
please come back.
and cathay at downtown stole seats from our LTs.
and the east is so happening.
hahahaha.
okay been there, done that.
it's time to stop.
and i'm talking about you, not me.
ouch. it's swelling up.
one more week.
i can't wait.
please come back.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
faceless days
HAH.
you are one big bitch.
don't think i don't know what's going on in your mind.
and it pisses me off.
what's ur fucking problem?
you are one big bitch.
don't think i don't know what's going on in your mind.
and it pisses me off.
what's ur fucking problem?
spice girls - mama
hahaha.
lunch was fun. dinner was fun (:
i need to watch more shows!
and kim pls come back from bkk first lol.
totally forgot to say bye to you hahahha.
you can go back after i say bye.
josiah 1 mth celebs tmr!
on (quote brandon) laobu day. (??)
movie movie!
lunch was fun. dinner was fun (:
i need to watch more shows!
and kim pls come back from bkk first lol.
totally forgot to say bye to you hahahha.
you can go back after i say bye.
josiah 1 mth celebs tmr!
on (quote brandon) laobu day. (??)
movie movie!
Friday, May 09, 2008
i think i understand
and i should stop.
feels nice
there are some things i just don't care about anymore.
at least for the time being.
to hell with it.
i shall go sleep.
goodnight.
at least for the time being.
to hell with it.
i shall go sleep.
goodnight.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
trying to disappear
it's playing on repeat
hahahahaha.
please let all of this be normal again.
it's so weird.
can you imagine, me? without that?
-_-
i can never adjust to this.
byebye.
hahahahaha.
please let all of this be normal again.
it's so weird.
can you imagine, me? without that?
-_-
i can never adjust to this.
byebye.
if i didn't shop today..
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
moonlight
i am overwhelmed.
i was looking for the right word to sum up all of this.
and i found it.
i'm retarded, exposed, and overwhelmed.
that makes it three!
i was looking for the right word to sum up all of this.
and i found it.
i'm retarded, exposed, and overwhelmed.
that makes it three!
Monday, May 05, 2008
plan A
secondhand serenade - stranger
turn around
turn around and fix your eye in my direction
so there is a connection
i can't speak
i can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
i'm staring at perfectiong
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
i'm confident
but i can't pretend i wasn't terrified to meet you
i knew you could see right through me
i saw my life flash right before my very eyes
and i knew just what we'd turn into
i was hoping that you could see
take a look at me so you can see
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
your beauty seems so far away
i'd have to write a thousand songs
to make you comprehend how beautiful you are
i know that i can't make you stay
but i would give my final breath
to make you understand how beautiful you are
understand how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
you call me a stranger
turn around
turn around and fix your eye in my direction
so there is a connection
i can't speak
i can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
i'm staring at perfectiong
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
i'm confident
but i can't pretend i wasn't terrified to meet you
i knew you could see right through me
i saw my life flash right before my very eyes
and i knew just what we'd turn into
i was hoping that you could see
take a look at me so you can see
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
your beauty seems so far away
i'd have to write a thousand songs
to make you comprehend how beautiful you are
i know that i can't make you stay
but i would give my final breath
to make you understand how beautiful you are
understand how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
i'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you call me a stranger
you say i'm a danger
you call me a stranger
with you people
wth?
my eyes are tired. i need some rest.
too much me time isn't good.
somehow, some way, something's going wrong.
my eyes are tired. i need some rest.
too much me time isn't good.
somehow, some way, something's going wrong.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
i never said sorry
now that i have tons of time, i'm dreaming.
i'm dreaming of many things
some that will never happen
some that could possibly happen
i like my time to be spent this way.
and even better if all those dreams would come true.
please. let a girl dream.
i'm dreaming of many things
some that will never happen
some that could possibly happen
i like my time to be spent this way.
and even better if all those dreams would come true.
please. let a girl dream.
nice girl
shopping list
there's this warm, fuzzy feeling
when i compare now with, maybe 2 months back?
but when i realise it's not there,
my mind is stuck at one year ago.
you know what happens when a pillar collapses?
-
- watch
- bag?
- bubble tea
- shit shit shit cannot rmb alr.
- 2.5
- nice pouch haha.
- look at shoeesssss!
- k i forget alr this thing is retarded kthxbye
there's this warm, fuzzy feeling
when i compare now with, maybe 2 months back?
but when i realise it's not there,
my mind is stuck at one year ago.
I talk to Leonard every two or three days. I call him if I can't get hold of Lilly, or I call him when I’m done talking to her. He always asks the same two questions: are you okay, do you need anything. My answers are always the same: yes I’m okay, no I don’t need anything. He offers to come visit I tell him no. he asks when I’m getting out, I always give him the same date. He wants to have a party the day of my release, I tell him I want to see Lilly, I want to be alone with her. When we hang-up he always says the same thing: look ’em in the eye and show no fear.
When I’m done with the phone, I go back to my cell. I do a hundred push-ups and two hundred sit-ups. When I am done with the push-ups and sit-ups, I walk to the shower. Most of the Prisoners shower in the morning, so I am usually alone. I turn on the heat from multiple faucets. I sit down on the floor. The water hits me from multiple directions it hits my chest, my back, the top of my head. It hits my arms, my legs. It burns and it hurts and I sit and I take the burn and I take the hurt. I don’t do it because I like it, because I don’t. I sit and I take the pain and I ignore the pain and I forget the pain because I want to learn some form of control. I believe that pain and suffering are different things. Pain is the feeling. Suffering is the effect that pain inflicts. If one can learn to withstand pain, one can withstand anything. If one can learn to control pain, one can learn to control oneself. I have lived a life without control. I have spent twenty-three years destroying myself and everything and everyone around me and I don’t want to live that way anymore. I take the pain so that I will never suffer. I take the pain to experience control. I sit and I burn and I take it.
My Friend Leonard; James Frey
you know what happens when a pillar collapses?
-
Friday, May 02, 2008
yesterday once more
haha.
i guess it was relatively great day at work (:
i'm taking small little steps to get my life in order.
i don't want this to screw up.
11-7 and 6-2 means 6-7 -_-
though he left at 745 hahahahahaha.
and madness
the whole world is working at the same place now.
only two more outlets to make the whole thing.
google is my best friend,
but it's weird when you seem like a target
the carpenters - yesterday once more
when i was young
i'd listen to the radio
waitin' for my favorite songs
when they played i'd sing along
it made me smile.
those were such happy times
and not so long ago
how i wondered where they'd gone
but they're back again
just like a long lost friend
all the songs i loved so well.
every sha-la-la-la
every wo-o-wo-o
still shines
every shing-a-ling-a-ling
that they're startin' to sing's
so fine.
when they get to the part
where he's breakin' her heart
it can really make me cry
just like before
it's yesterday once more.
lookin' back on how it was
in years gone by
and the good times that i had
makes today seem rather sad
so much has changed.
it was songs of love that
i would sing to then
and i'd memorize each word
those old melodies
still sound so good to me
as they melt the years away.
every sha-la-la-la
every wo-o-wo-o
still shines
every shing-a-ling-a-ling
that they're startin' to sing
so fine
all my best memories
come back clearly to me
some can even make me cry.
just like before
it's yesterday once more.
-------------
this video rocks. the owner disabled embedding.
please watch!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sj2fb5sag2o
Thursday, May 01, 2008
busy busy busy
awwwwwwwwwwwwww
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
"a traumatic week but.."
BUT OMG OMG OMG OMG! (:
"a traumatic week but.."
BUT OMG OMG OMG OMG! (:
more than a match
i believe it's more about the record than the finals.
anyways my bookshelf looks. quite. neat. now.
except for the top and bottom shelf.
the middle four are decent. in fact beautiful.
hahaha i actually typo-ed in fact as inf act just now
and i just saw 2108 again -_-
i can breathe now.
though i should really let go of some things
and accept them.
i mean, it's been forever.
can't expect much can i?
and anyway i should do this more often.
we need to have visions!
anyways my bookshelf looks. quite. neat. now.
except for the top and bottom shelf.
the middle four are decent. in fact beautiful.
hahaha i actually typo-ed in fact as inf act just now
and i just saw 2108 again -_-
i can breathe now.
though i should really let go of some things
and accept them.
i mean, it's been forever.
can't expect much can i?
and anyway i should do this more often.
we need to have visions!
